Ready For Your First Long Distance Relationship?
In 2016, these were my priorities: be the best in my job, travel abroad, find a boyfriend.
In 2019, my priorities changed to these: be with my partner, become a yoga teacher, find a remote job.
Only 3 years passed and my circumstances changed drastically.
The major shift came from getting into my first long-distance relationship and eventually wanting to move abroad or at least be ready to, so we can remove the distance barrier between us.
If you are in a long-distance relationship like me, about to get into one, or considering to be in one, these might help you determine if you are in the right place or ready to be there.
Are you ready for a major change in your expenses?
Thank goodness, calls can now be made over Facetime, Whatsapp, and other means. Otherwise, phone bills will shoot up.
As a single person, you are only thinking of traveling with friends and family for a weekend or a 3-week vacation, when in an LDR (long-distance relationship) you will be thinking of how you can spend quality time together in one place.
You will have to save for your flights, accommodations, and/or tours. To be able to do this, you will have to be more wary of your spending and see where your money goes.
If the relationship is the number 1 priority for you, your resources — especially your money — goes into it automatically.
Are you alright with setting aside at least 30 minutes a day to call each other?
Trust is the main element in being in an LDR and you build this through constant communication. How can you trust your partner if you only rely on text messaging and you don’t see each other’s micro-expressions when you’re excited or irritated?
Setting aside time to connect, every single day, is a very effective way to build trust, and love for each other.
This will change the way you manage time. You may have to decide between hanging out with a colleague versus having that call with your partner. Or going out on a Saturday night with girlfriends vs going on a Facetime date night with your boyfriend.
Now, I’m not saying you just give him a ring, tell a few stories and say goodnight. I’m saying you have to get deep into every conversation, listen, ask questions and be genuinely interested in the other person. This will take energy to do.
Are you prepared for a career change?
When you and your partner start talking about the other person moving, what type of job will you have in his city? Can you work in the same industry or the same job that you have now? If not, are you prepared to shift and take an entry-level job?
Being in an LDR will make you think about your career a little bit more closely and seriously, or you can just wing it. Move, get a job that’s the easiest to find just to earn some money and help with expenses, then move towards working on something you are passionate about whether that’s corporate work or not.
Are you ready to uproot yourself?
You might have to move. Or he has to. Either way, being in an LDR means that there’s a big possibility that you will have to leave your home behind. This means leaving your friends, job, and possibly, family.
There are people who like this idea already, and some don’t.
If you are the type who enjoys being physically close to the people you love, this might be a hurdle.
If you answered ‘yes’ to these questions, you are prepared.
Here’s a word of caution. Being prepared will not make things easy. But it will make things more bearable.
Once you know where you’re heading, you can take small but important steps into the big dream that is living together.
Now go and make it happen.
If you liked this article, you might enjoy these too:
How To Make A Brand New Long-Distance Relationship Work
The first 6–8 months are incredible. Keep the momentum going.